17 September, 2005 | Leave a Comment
It’s been a long road to London.
When you’re 32 years old, it’s not easy to leave everything behind, to create a new life in another country. There was the one-bedroom apartment that had to be emptied, with only a 5×5 storage unit available to hold what couldn’t be parted with. There was the car to be sold and the furniture, the pieces of my life doled out to grateful friends, to Goodwill. Wading through a decade of junk was exhausting and often immobilizing; again and again, the same question crossed my mind: How did I accumulate so much stuff? And do I need any of this to be happy?
There was the job to leave behind. There were the friends and the family and everything that was familiar.
It was a struggle to untangle myself from my life in Boston and move abroad. It was much more difficult than I ever thought it would be, but I have no regrets. Not for a second. Would I rather be at Harvard, at Yale, at Columbia? No way. From the time I decided to go for my Ph.D., there was no doubt I wanted to do it in London. I lived in the city during the 1996-1997 academic year, when I received my MA in literature from the University of London (specific college to remain nameless, thank you!). I always knew I wanted to return for my Ph.D., though I never thought it would be possible. And now here I am, set to begin studying at the same school next week, eight long years later.
There is no city in the world like London. From the very first time I visited this city, it bewitched me. Make no mistake: I completely romanticize this place. But I feel at home here. I can walk around for hours with no particular place to go. I can just be. I never felt this way in New York or Boston or anywhere else I’ve ever lived. And now I’m set to begin this project, my Ph.D. I’m nervous and excited. I’m excited for obvious reasons. I’m nervous because I’m going to be a student once more, because I’m starting over again only this time I’m in my thirties. I’m a real adult now, not someone who’s just playing around. I’ve made a big commitment. I’ve changed my life. Will it be everything I hope it will be? We’ll see…
