6 November, 2005 | 3 Comments

Two girls, 22-ish, riding the Piccadilly Line:

“The water here is, like, so bad for my hair. Look at it!”

5 November, 2005 | Comments

Tonight is Bonfire Night, the 5th of November celebration in which the Brits commemorate the failure of Guy Fawkes and his cronies to blow up parliament on its opening day. The Gunpowder Plot (as it’s known) would have wiped out King James I and lots of other bigwigs, sending the nation into chaos and anarchy and despair. And no, before you get the wrong idea, Fawkes was not part of Al-Qaeda. This event took place back in 1605 and this year marks the 400th anniversary.

On the 5th of November, Britons light bonfires, set off fireworks and burn Guy Fawkes in effigy. I never knew much about the origins of Bonfire Night – I just assumed every nation needed an excuse to set off fireworks at least once a year, and given how many nations celebrate their independence from Britain in such a way, it’s only fair the Brits themselves get to have a little fun.

Upon further investigation, however, Guy Fawkes and Bonfire Night have become much more interesting. BBC columnist David Cannadine can explain it better than me (he also mentions Trafalgar Day in this excerpt, which falls on 21st October and marks Nelson’s victory):

In fact, the Gunpowder Plot was a close-run thing. The conspirators, who were Roman Catholics, wanted to blow up parliament on the day of the state opening, with the aim of assassinating King James I, who’d been less sympathetic to the Catholic cause than they’d expected.

They planned to replace James by his daughter, Princess Elizabeth, who they hoped would be a more malleable and a more Catholic queen. Had they succeeded, England might have become a Catholic nation once more, and members of the Church of England would have been distinctly thin on the ground.

…skipping ahead…

The Gunpowder Plot was a foiled Catholic conspiracy, and during the 17th Century, it was the pope, rather than Guy Fawkes, who was often burned in effigy. And the Battle of Trafalgar was fought against France and Spain, our nation’s two hereditary enemies, which for much of their histories were both despotic and Catholic regimes.

For many Britons, then, both Trafalgar Day and Guy Fawkes Day were national events to celebrate our Protestant patriotism, and it was that re-affirmation of our collective identity which gave them their long-lasting appeal.

It’s probably needless to point out that Bonfire Night pisses off Catholics. And the columnist I just quoted gripes that the quintessentially British Bonfire Night is being eclipsed by the increasingly popular American version of Halloween, which of course falls only a few days before. The latter holiday involves free candy, so really, it’s no surprise.

Last night when I was walking along Russell Square, I saw a gorgeous fireworks display coming from somewhere in central London. An early celebration, apparently. I have no plans to go out tonight because it’s cold and rainy and dark and I want to stay home and read. But I hope everyone has a smashing good time!

3 November, 2005 | Comments

Christmas has come early for the London media. The editor of The Sun newspaper was arrested early this morning for domestic violence. And before you jump to conclusions, the editor is a woman and the husband she assaulted is EastEnders tough guy Ross Kemp. You just can’t make this stuff up!

Rebekah Wade is the first female editor of The Sun, the hugely successful Rupert Murdoch-owned rag. During her tenure as editor, Wade has campaigned vigorously against domestic violence. Ahem. Lest she be confused with an actual feminist, however, Wade has continued to publish topless pics of women on page three, a time-honoured Sun tradition.

Before being punched in the face, Kemp joined his wife and the disgraced David Blunkett (see previous post) for dinner last night. Due to the subsequent Wade-Kemp smackdown, Blunkett has been booted off the front pages. Rebekah Wade was released from custody today without being charged, though her future as editor is in question.

In a spectacularly bizarre twist, the actor who plays Ross Kemp’s brother on EastEnders, Steve McFadden, was also assaulted today by his ex-girlfriend, who was arrested. Is there something about EastEnders’ men that drives women to violence? Did the two on-screen brothers engage together in a nasty business that set their lady companions afire? I don’t know, but the London tabs are going to have a rollicking good time trying to figure this one out.

2 November, 2005 | Comments

Caught up in yet another scandal, Labour MP David Blunkett has resigned from Tony Blair’s cabinet for the second time in less than a year. In 2004, he resigned as Home Secretary after it was revealed he used his position to fast-track a visa application for his lover’s nanny. The whole ordeal, including his affair with American Kimberly Quinn, was recently turned into a rather mean-spirited satire on Channel 4 called A Very Social Secretary.

Blunkett resigned today from his second post in Blair’s cabinet. Of course, Anglofille is not an expert on British politics, but this story is all over the news and it intrigues me. David Blunkett is blind, and though it is politically incorrect to discuss such matters, there is talk on chat shows that Blunkett’s troubles are due to the fact that he can’t see. Can one survive in the Machiavellian world of politics while also being blind? In A Very Social Secretary, those around Blunkett, including Tony and Cherie Blair, were portrayed as using the fact that Blunkett is blind to manipulate him (for example, lying about who was present in the room during a conversation). Whether this actually happened in real life, I don’t know. In an interview, Blunkett blamed his reputation for being harsh and abrasive on the fact that he is blind, saying that it’s harder to tell if people are annoyed or offended when you can’t see their reactions.

Clearly, one doesn’t rise to the heights that David Blunkett has without being incredibly savvy and shrewd. While it’s true that some of his enemies and even so-called friends may try to exploit his disability, Blunkett’s womanizing and missteps seem to be the result of the same disease that plagues most politicians: Egomania.

1 November, 2005 | Comments

Virtually every pedestrian crossing in London is painted with an important directive to visitors. Behold:

The first time I visited London, I cracked up when I saw this. But I can only imagine how many tourists from around the world got hit by cars before the powers that be decided to provide these helpful hints.

Approximately one-quarter to one-third of the world drives on the left side of the road. Most of these countries, including Australia, India and South Africa, are former British colonies, but other countries such as Japan, Indonesia and Thailand also drive on the wrong…er….left side of the road. The UK and Ireland are the only countries in Europe to drive on the left.

I must admit I’m grateful for the crosswalk warnings. Without them, I would surely be splattered all over a London road somewhere.