27 May, 2006 | Leave a Comment
The Evening Standard reported yesterday that May 2006 is on track to become Britain’s wettest May since 1773. So you see, I am not having a totally hysterical overreaction to the weather – something freaky is going on! They are dubbing it the “May Monsoon.” [Some “experts” are claiming there’s a drought, but they’re obviously high.] London may soon be submerged Atlantis-like underwater, so these blog dispatches could become valuable historical evidence. Print them out!
Just like in the good ol’ U.S.A, we are having a long holiday weekend over here. While everyone else is complaining that it’s ruined because of the weather, I have surrendered to my fate. I love rain! Earlier this week I was threatening to check myself into a mental hospital, but now I realize that a positive attitude is more effective than electroshock therapy. I’m just worried I won’t be able to adjust to dry life again – if that ever becomes necessary.
Why is rain so great? Well, my fingertips are always puckered and pink – how cute! My toes make a fun squishing sound inside my shoes when I walk – yippee! And I get to wring out my socks when I get home, which keeps me humble. My hair looks like a frizzy tumbleweed, but on the plus side, I don’t have to blow-dry it or brush it (hell, I don’t even have to wash it). I roll out of bed and head right for the door. Outfit? Who cares! After all, I’ll surely be splashed by a double-decker bus accelerating through a puddle of water. Mascara? Nope. My eyes are already sunken and dark, thanks. It’s liberating! I look dreadful and I don’t care. The creepy foreign guy at the reception desk doesn’t even hit on me anymore. Hurrah! And the best part is that everyone looks terrible. We all look like we’ve just emerged from the shower, making even the most hardened and pushy city dweller appear achingly vulnerable. There is no pretense, no posing, no trying to impress. We’re just keepin’ it real, man. This is life without vanity. This is Waterworld.
Anglofille said @ 8:17 pm | london & uk |
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Carol Says:
May 29th, 2006 at 2:48 pmLife without vanity. Imagine …
No ‘long weekend’ in Scotland. Just another Monday. And it’s not even raining!
(Bloody cold though.)
