9 August, 2006 | 4 Comments

For some idiotic reason, when I was in London I changed the layout of my laptop’s keyboard from American to English. [Though obviously, I still see an American layout.] This wasn’t a problem before because I had an English keyboard plugged into my laptop and rarely used the laptop keyboard. The English keyboard was demolished by a giant book that fell off my shelf right before I moved [narrowly missing my head]. So now I want to change the keyboard back to Yankee Doodle but I can’t figure out how! Anyone? Also, can someone in England please tell me where the number sign is located on your keyboard? I can’t find it! I’ve been pushing every button [except the correct one]! Help!

9 August, 2006 | 1 Comment

Another food post. After being with my family for the past couple weeks and eating most of our meals in restaurants, they have started comparing me to Sally Albright, Meg Ryan’s character in When Harry Met Sally. If you’ve seen that movie, you’ll remember that she could never just order something off the menu in a restaurant because she had all sorts of special requests. I have become that character [only worse, apparently]. It’s not my fault that I have to ask the waiter how things are prepared. For example, you never know if scrambled eggs are cooked in oil or butter. I need to know what I’m putting into my body and you can never assume anything when it comes to restaurants – they’re sneaky! But I guess my inquisitiveness is a source of embarrassment to people who are used to scarfing down whatever is on their plate without asking questions. Eating at a Chinese or Japanese restaurant is pure bliss because of the lack of dairy ingredients. The only problem is when Chinese restaurants sneak pork or beef into things like hot and sour soup or spring rolls, so I have to be vigilant about that. Okay, so maybe there are no safe places for me. I believe that Nora Ephron coined the phrase “high maintenance” when she wrote When Harry Met Sally – that’s me! [And I'm damn proud.]

Any of you brave enough to take me out for dinner?

9 August, 2006 | 5 Comments

I don’t miss English food, I’m not going to lie to you. The food that England is known for is very meat and dairy heavy, which means much of it is off-limits to me, so perhaps I just missed out on the really tasty stuff. (It’s a possibility!) I do admire the fact that in England, people with food intolerances have a much easier time because food labels are clearer and restaurants are better equipped to handle questions about their ingredients.

But there is one food item I yearn for, and that is oat cakes. I used to eat them every single day with breakfast in place of toast and with snacks as well. If you don’t know what oat cakes are, they’re crackers made from oats. They’re very high in fiber and filling, thus an ideal alternative to very high-GI carbs. They’re good with hard-boiled eggs, hummus and can be Americanized deliciously with peanut butter and jam. I have not been able to find oat cakes here at all, so I guess they have not made the leap across the Atlantic. I am now eating Wasa crispbread instead. [Sniffle.]

I miss Pret-a-Manger too, but that doesn’t really count as English food. I also miss my favorite London restaurant, Mildred’s in Soho. The waiters are rude, but they have an excellent vegetarian/vegan menu. I’ll only be back in London for two days before leaving for Paris, but I’m sure I’ll find time for Mildred’s. Oh, and I’ll need to fill my suitcase with boxes of oat cakes too. Taking English food to France — how subversive!

8 August, 2006 | 3 Comments

Where’s Anglofille?

HINT: The mountains are tall, the lake smells funny and everybody here loves to eat honey.

8 August, 2006 | Comments

I thought when I came back home, I would be excited to watch American television.  But now that I’m here, I find it to be unbearable.  This may seem insane, but the American “TV voice” is giving me a major headache, particularly when watching the news and commercials.  The voices of these people sound so shrill and grating, almost ear-splitting.  Why doesn’t anyone else notice this?  I’m like a dog that can hear a whistle that’s too high-pitched for humans to hear.  

8 August, 2006 | 2 Comments

Bad:

Found a London Underground ticket in my wallet. Became very sad. I miss London. A lot.

Good:

Ate tacos for lunch. Real tacos made by people from Mexico. Mucho yummy. I still miss London, but America has better tacos.

In other England vs. America news, after a week back home I finally took the English money out of my wallet. (Oh, shut up!)  My wallet is much lighter now. Damn, English money is heavy. All those coins, I guess.

7 August, 2006 | 13 Comments

The Place That Cannot Be Named* sits at an altitude of 4,800 feet (1,463 meters), which is just slightly lower than Denver (“The Mile-High City”) at 5,000 feet. I spent more than a decade living here while growing up, but as an adult I’ve lived mostly at sea level. Whenever I come back to visit, the high altitude really affects me. I mostly experience light-headedness and fatigue, particularly falling asleep earlier than usual and having a very difficult time getting up in the morning – when I sleep here I feel like I’ve been drugged.

Altitude sickness (which can be very serious, even deadly) usually doesn’t occur until a person reaches an elevation of 8,000 feet, though it can affect some people as low as 5,000. My grandmother is a retired nurse who lives in Denver, where she saw plenty of holidaying skiers made sick by the high altitude. I’m not in danger of getting altitude sickness here, but the decrease in oxygen in the air still affects one’s body. I feel quite spacey right now. [Not quite sure how this differs from my natural state?]

Another serious side effect of high-altitude living is flat baked goods – cookies, biscuits, bread, etc., don’t come out perfect unless you follow special instructions (and sometimes not even then). The climate is also extremely dry, which is good in some ways (no humidity) and bad in others (dry skin, nails and hair). I guess living this close to heaven (wink wink) is not for wimps.

*Is The Place That Cannot Be Named Jackson Hole, Wyoming? No, it is not.

5 August, 2006 | 4 Comments

I have arrived safe and sound at my parents’ house, which is located in a state that will henceforth be referred to as The Place That Cannot Be Named.*

We flew Southwest. If any executives from Southwest happen to be reading this, I suggest the following be used as your new motto:

Southwest Airlines: A Greyhound Bus with Wings

We left from the airport in Burbank today, rather than LAX. This is the actual name of the airport:

I took a photo because otherwise you’d think I was making this up. An airport named for a movie star in a state governed by a movie star. It’s like a nightmare.

And while I’m on the subject of movie stars, the TVs in both airports I was in today were tuned to cable news. Their main news story? Mel Gibson’s drunken anti-Semitic rant. Is this really the most pressing news story in America? I mean, really? American news is such a joke.

*Is The Place That Cannot Be Named Reno, Nevada? No, it is not.

5 August, 2006 | Comments

Today I leave L.A. and fly with my parents to their house, where I will remain for a few weeks before heading east. It’ll be nice to stay settled in one place for a while. The flight there is about an hour and a half long, which isn’t bad, but there’s an annoying layover in Las Vegas. And since we don’t get off the plane there, I can’t play the slots in the terminal. Drats!

5 August, 2006 | 1 Comment

Yesterday, my last day in L.A., we did a few touristy things in Hollywood. I actually had to beg and plead to do any of this, because my entire family hates L.A. and can’t imagine anyone wanting to see it through the eyes of a tourist.

We visited Hollywood and Highland, an entertainment complex that includes the Kodak Theatre (where the Oscars are held), part of the Hollywood Walk of Fame and Grauman’s Chinese Theatre (with the movie star footprints and handprints). There are also lots of shops and restaurants, as well as a perfect view of the Hollywood sign:

Hollywood and Highland:

Keanu’s star on the Walk of Fame (the blinding sun made it impossible to get a good picture):

Grauman’s Chinese Theatre (as an I Love Lucy fan, seeing John Wayne’s footprints was a thrill!):

The legendary El Capitan Theatre:

4 August, 2006 | Comments

Constantly. It seems to me that the average citizen of L.A. spends hours each day plotting ways to avoid traffic jams on freeways with vague numbers like the 1, 101, 2, 5, 134, 405, etc. etc. The planning of every activity must take into account an intricate system of traffic patterns that shift throughout the day. Here’s a tip for visitors: Don’t ever dare to ask whether spending so much time worrying about traffic is useful. Oh, and here’s another tip: Don’t even dream of mentioning that other cities on earth also have traffic.

In only a week I’ve grown quite used to being lectured on why it’s impossible to leave home after 3:00. Will I ever see dusk again?

4 August, 2006 | 9 Comments

True confession: When I was in London, I rarely drank tea. My flat came furnished with an electric kettle that I put in the cupboard on Day 1 and never removed.

But now that I’m back in the U.S.A., I’m drinking tea every day. Mint tea with breakfast, iced tea with dinner, tea tea tea. At first I was baffled by my twisted behavior, but then I figured out the reason: American tea just tastes better than English tea.

3 August, 2006 | 5 Comments

We spent a nice couple days on the Monterey Peninsula. We visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, one of the largest in the world. It’s located on Cannery Row, made famous by John Steinbeck.

I spent last night with a friend and her fiancé at their house in Carmel. We talked for hours and I watched in awe as my friend whipped up a gourmet vegan dinner that was a real treat. I tried on her diamond-encrusted Tiffany engagement ring and my finger was stunned, as it’s normally only adorned with cheap costume jewellery. [Diamonds really are lovely!] I hope to return next June for the wedding. Fingers crossed.

It was sad to say goodbye to my friend, especially because it reminded me that my good friends are scattered across America and I get to see them once a year if I’m lucky. It’s one of the things about my life I wish were different.

We’re back in L.A. now for a few days. On Saturday I leave for an undisclosed location…

1 August, 2006 | Comments

Today we drove from Cambria through Big Sur and Carmel to Monterey. It was a stunning drive along the coast, but the road was very very very windy, going up and down and side to side. I’m not a person who ever gets car sick, but today I did. I felt like I was riding on a roller coaster, which required a few stops so I could inhale the fresh air so I didn’t pass out. I’m not used to riding in cars anymore, so that probably contributed to it. Over the past year my main form of transportation has been walking, with the occasional tube and bus journey thrown in. It’s hard adjusting to car life again. In London I walked literally miles each day but here I am leading a much more sedentary lifestyle. Even though I’ve only been here for less than a week, my whole body is stiff and achy. Luckily I’ll only have to put up with cars for a few more weeks and then it’s back to walking the city streets again. How I miss that.

Tomorrow I am having a nice long overnight visit with a dear friend who lives in Carmel. I haven’t seen her in two and a half years. Catching up with old friends is one of life’s pure delights. Talk to you again on Thursday or thereabouts.