2 October, 2007 | Leave a Comment
As of last week, I am in full-time PhD mode again. I don’t think I ever shared the good news about my PhD, did I? As most of you know, after the first year of my studies, I took time off and went to Paris. I wasn’t feeling passionate about the topic I had chosen for my dissertation. More than that, when I started this PhD lark, I didn’t fully understand what I was getting myself into. In hindsight, I hadn’t considered carefully enough whether I was well-suited for this kind of academic work. At heart, I am a very creative and intuitive person. I’m a smart gal, but I’m not necessarily an academic in the traditional sense. Make no mistake, I don’t aspire to be that. That’s kind of odd for a PhD student, but there you go.
I was aware of the fact that the English department at my school offered a PhD in creative writing, but it’s a new thing and wasn’t an option when I applied. I was quite disappointed when I found out about this, because it seemed like the perfect avenue for me. Still, I didn’t inquire about changing when I found out, I just kept plodding along on the traditional English PhD that I was doing. My thought process: Changing is hard, I’ll feel like a quitter, I like my supervisor, blah blah blah. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Sometimes we undermine our own chances for success. Yes, that was me. But this past February in Paris when I was trying to figure out the mess that was my life, I suddenly got a lot of clarity about what I wanted to do. It became clear to me that I needed to do everything in my power to change to the creative writing PhD. It was the right path for me, that much was blindingly obvious.
I contacted the head of the English department, who was very supportive and helpful. It all depended on whether my work was good enough and whether he could find a supervisor for me. I sent a short story and about fifty pages of my novel, plus an outline. The wheels of academia turn slowly and I had to wait for weeks to hear back, but in the meantime I made plans to leave Paris. I was sure I’d be granted the change and as such, I wanted to get back to London soon. Of course, I was granted the change. It’s a long story as to why it took so long for me to get re-enrolled, but I’ve spent my time back in London going through teacher training and then teaching, which has been a great boost for me in so many ways.
So last week I began this new adventure in earnest. My PhD is still in English, but it’s a practice-based creative PhD. In my case, this means a dissertation that is 60,000 words of a novel and 40,000 words of scholarly research that is linked thematically to the novel. Because I was already writing a novel, this change does not put me too far behind, though I imagine it will take me a bit longer to finish now. I have to be enrolled for two more years minimum, but I can’t be enrolled for more than three additional years. If I can’t finish in three more years, the jig is up. I’ve already put in one year and they are cracking down on people going over four years, apparently. This isn’t like in the States where you can take 20 years to write your dissertation.
I feel incredibly fortunate that I had the option to change. This new PhD is perfect for me. I get to pursue the academic credentials I want, but I get to use my creativity in the process. And rather than novel-writing being an extra thing on top of everything else, it is now at the heart of my academic work. I don’t have to scramble to find time to write my novel — I have to write it. Everyday. I have deadlines (desperately needed) and I get feedback from two published novelists. I could have been another statistic — a PhD student who becomes disillusioned and drops out. Instead, I thank my lucky stars that I made the choice to do a PhD, that I took time off when I needed to and then happily landed where I am. The timing is just right. It all worked out, almost as if by design.
Anglofille said @ 8:54 pm | academia |
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Anita Says:
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:33 pmLove the Virginia Woolf quote. Reminds me of the back of a certain t-shirt.
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Anita: You know, when I unpacked my boxes recently I found that shirt. It’s in perfect condition because I can’t bring myself to wear it — I want it to stay perfect.
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Anita Says:
October 2nd, 2007 at 10:17 pmIt washes really well. Not fragile at all. You can wear it. It will be okay. I’ve even bleached mine!
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I don’t even wear mine! It’s boxed up for all-eternity!
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and hey, who knows - i bet that terrible year you spent in paris will make for some good fodder someday!
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yes, all tragic experiences can be used in my art. without them, i’d have nothing to write about.
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Rebecca Says:
October 3rd, 2007 at 2:23 pmIt’s nice to hear that you found your way.
