31 December, 2007 | Leave a Comment
I’ve indulged in quite a bit of self-reflection over the past 12 months…it’s just been that kinda year. 2007 was a year that changed everything for me and so before it’s consigned to the history books in about eight hours, I want to take a look back in words and images.
Exactly one year ago today, I had just moved into a new apartment sublet near the Eiffel Tower. I was feeling hopeful about the future, as if I was about to turn a corner and begin a new chapter of my life after what had been a difficult few months adjusting to life in Paris. Then that night – at around 11:00 p.m. on New Year’s Eve! – the apartment owner informed me I was being evicted; he preferred I leave right then and check into a cheap hotel. It was a terrible way to start the New Year. His decision sent me down a path that was difficult to recover from given everything else that was happening. The next six weeks were among the most difficult of my life. I don’t even like to think about them.
I never would have guessed during those cold dark miserable horrible January days that by the end of 2007 I would be happier and more stable than I ever have been before in my adult life. It wasn’t easy to get to this place, but I’m so grateful to be where I am now.
Between January and September, I lived out of suitcases. Literally. I moved six times — three times in Paris in the winter and then three times after I got to London in April. I could only take with me what would fit into the back of a taxi. A friend of the apartment owner who had evicted me — a complete stranger who became my guardian angel in Paris — let me leave my boxes of belongings in the basement of her apartment building. She let me leave them there for nine months, even after I returned to London. Without her kindness, I don’t know what I would have done.
During those nine months, with my tattered red suitcases, I was in a cycle of rootlessness that was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I didn’t realize how utterly bizarre it was to live that way until I finally settled down in September. During my vagabond days, I’d often give out an e-mail address instead of a street address when asked for contact details. It’s almost as if I didn’t exist in the physical world. I really did feel that way inside too, as if I were floating through life unseen, like a ghost. I’ve chronicled all of this drama here on the blog so I’m not going to relive it again.
By the summer, after a transition to London that was both exhilarating and extremely difficult, things started to look up and positive changes began to take place over several months. I had received my TEFL certificate and got a job teaching summer school at my university. When that job ended, I got a job for the academic year at a college in central London teaching academic English, which I really love. I changed my PhD to creative writing and once the term started, my novel that had been on life support for years was suddenly reborn. I also have a great supervisor and a real support network. I got a job in a hall of residence (free rent!) and get to live in my favorite London neighborhood. I am still madly in love with London. I’ve also met tons of new friends, paid off credit card bills and quit an online job that was making me unhappy. For the first time, I feel like a real grown up too. I don’t know what the New Year will hold for me, but 2007 is a year I will always look back on as the year that changed everything.
I learned so many things about life and about myself this past year, especially this:
—No matter how crappy your life is, it can get better. You have to ride it out, but it’s important to have faith that eventually you’ll find your way.
—It’s a cliché, but it’s true: Treat others how you want to be treated. Through my interactions with a few very dishonest people, I learned like never before that the actions we take can have profound, life-altering consequences for other people, even if the matter at hand seems minor or not very important.
—Help from others is often necessary; don’t be afraid to ask for it, to put yourself at the mercy of others if necessary, to let them see you vulnerable and in need of assistance. People are often willing to help if you take a chance and ask them. This year the support I received from my family and friends made all the difference. Not only that, but in Paris a few very delightful people came to my rescue. These were people who did not know me at all and owed me nothing, yet they went to great lengths to help a foreigner in their country. I’m ashamed to admit that if I had been in their shoes, I may not have made such an effort on behalf of someone I didn’t know. Now I’ve learned my lesson through their example.
—Finally, the world around us is beautiful if we only take the time to look at it. I now take great pleasure in everyday things (flowers, sunsets, trees, clouds). This makes my life much richer. Connecting with the world outside can heal us inside, can make us whole. Living in Paris taught me how to slow down and to appreciate life, to appreciate what is sensual and pleasing and to not feel guilty about it. I used to think that in order to be happy, I had to be happy all the time. Now I realize it’s important to seize on moments of happiness and the pleasure they bring– a beautiful sky, a conversation with a friend, a piece of chocolate, a favorite song, ten minutes of peace and quiet to read a book. Those small moments that I actively seek out are what make me happy and contribute to a more positive sense of well-being overall.
In that light, to close my last post of the year, here are a few photos from the past twelve months with a bit of commentary.
Deepest darkest January in Parc Monceau, down the street from my third — and final — Paris apartment. Time spent wandering in this parc was time well spent:
Two of my favorite things: The Eiffel Tower and sunsets. I think this is around the time my obsession with sunsets began. I’d go out every evening around 4:00 to see the sun setting. It was a like a balm.
Parisian pastries — more addictive than crack!
After the long winter, spring arrives in Paris:
Au revoir, Paris:
When I returned to London in April, I lived near Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens. I’d spend hours wandering around these two glorious places, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life:
In 2007, summer never arrived in Britain. Storm after storm rolled across the skies, thus deepening my unhealthy cloud obsession:
….and my dangerous obsession with puddles:
When I moved to Southwark in July, I had easy access to the Thames and all the bridges. It was heaven!:
In Southwark, I had a room with a view and discovered that usually half the lights on the London Eye are burned out:
I soon noticed that after a few months living back in the greasy spoon of Europe, I had gained back the weight I lost in Paris:
Oh well.
Once I moved to Bloomsbury and started teaching and studying again, I didn’t have as much time for aimless wandering and picture-taking. In the winter, it gets dark in London so very early, but if I have time on sunny days I chase the light around the streets of Bloomsbury. The light is thick in the air and wonderfully golden and worth seeking out:
[The photo above is my most popular London photo on Flickr, for reasons I do not understand.]
The view from Waterloo Bridge, the most magnificent spot in London. Ahhhh, London, this magical city, this wondrous place I’m lucky enough to call my home:
Thank you for reading my words, for looking at my images, for leaving such thoughtful comments and supporting me and for just being so wonderful. I wish you all the best for 2008 and beyond. xoxo
Anglofille said @ 4:20 pm | personal |
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daniela Says:
December 31st, 2007 at 6:10 pm2007 was a year fo mixed emotions for me as well. as you, i was rootless and depended a lot on the kindness of the others. it was a year of loss and all sorts of things. as you, i dont like thinking too much about january on… but there were very good things as well. enfin, a new one is just about to begin, and thank you for leaving us with these beautiful images!
all the best, happy new year! -
SpliceGirl Says:
December 31st, 2007 at 8:19 pmA lovely post that was missing one thing…your favorite moment of 2007…me coming to visit. I know that my presence and unbelievable intelligence made even your darkest day seem as if it were the brightest. You’re welcome.
In all seriousness, to put it a little less literary than you, 2007 blew. I too am eagerly awaiting and very hopeful that 2008 will be calm, peaceful, happy, and maybe, if I cross my fingers tight enough, the year I can find my path as you have found yours. Have a great New Years Eve!
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Happy New Year, friend of my brother. I hope 2008 is more stable and calm for you.
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Happy New Year!
This is such a nice posting. I just know 2008 will be your year! -
Gregory Says:
January 1st, 2008 at 11:49 pm“Then that night – at around 11:00 p.m. on New Year’s Eve! – the apartment owner informed me I was being evicted; he preferred I leave right then and check into a cheap hotel.”
I just couldn’t do that. There’d have to be a dead body involved.
In my Rock and Roll days I was detained by the authorities, lets call it Holland, for trying to eat a police officer, or so it was alleged.
I learnt two things, one never, ever hurt a cop if you can avoid it, and second, hurt the first person you meet in prison who annoys you and hurt him badly.
I think your landlord is in the second category.
Of course I am a changed person now, sweetness and light, so long as it isn’t three hours sitting in a rocking chair in Charlotte. I would be chewing the hardwood.
I think, people who can handle, catastrophe and turn it into a memory, are pretty talented.
Of course it is important to eventually get even, the tiny slices of death don’t come easy if a thing isn’t even.
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All the very best to you in 2008. I just love your photos and your writing.
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Glad to hear your year worked out in the end!
Great sky (and puddle) shots.
Best for 2008.
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as always, i’m touched by your comments and so very appreciative. warm wishes for 2008! xx
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Mam'zelle Lulu Says:
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:20 pmI can see why this photo is so popular : it’s gorgeous ! The light and the silhouette in the background are very nice.
Happy New Year Anglofille !
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Thanks Mam’zelle!
