19 April, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I have the blogging blahs. Sorry y’all. Here’s my week in a nutshell: Attending a seminar at the London Book Fair; starting three or four novels and not finishing reading them, leaving them open on my nightstand in a big pile; buying books I can’t afford; staring at my laptop screen for hours each day and waiting for a brilliant idea to help me fix this mess of a chapter (still waiting); feeling a lot of angst about my failure to finish this chapter; having an emergency meeting with my PhD supervisor; worrying about a looming PhD deadline; feeling demoralized about all the work I have to do on my novel; feeling depressed because the subject of my book is so dark and bleak and it’s starting to screw with my head; playing board games; having a Jason Bourne movie marathon that lasted for over six hours; drinking tea in cafés with friends; taking long walks; considering buying a Eurostar ticket to Paris for this weekend, but then deciding against it; forgetting to do my American taxes; eating too much chocolate.
What I really want to know is when spring will arrive. It feels like the dead of winter outside. I don’t mean to complain, but I *need* a nice spring day with sunshine and warmth. How long has it been since we’ve had a day like that — six months? That’s too long. It’s not healthy. Today an American friend told me if she lived here, she’d need to take anti-depressants. London is indeed a very dark place for at least half the year. We’ve earned the right to have spring, dammit. Where is it? If spring would come I could finish my chapter. I’d feel energized. I just know it!
Anglofille said @ 9:13 pm | personal |
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I know what it’s like to have a deadline weighing you down, and hanging over you. I went through something similar to what you’re going through in the winter of 2005 when I was in the middle of my master’s thesis. Winter dreariness and the looming deadline almost killed me. So I booked myself a little plane ticket to Paris for April 2005. The knowledge of that trip at the end of the thesis ordeal is what helped me get over my slump. Maybe you need to reward yourself when you accomplish your goals. That’s what gets me through.
I love your Jason Bourne marathon. I love him!! I hope they make a 4th movie. I can also identify with your chocolate eating. We teachers depend on this particular addiction to get us through the winter blahs.
You do whatever you have to do to get you through this tough time. You can do it!
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P.S. I am rewarding myself yet again with a trip to Europe this July. That’s what’s getting me through the last months of school. I need a break!!
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Silvana, thanks for your words of inspiration. I can be hard on myself sometimes, but I should remember that this is an extremely difficult project and would be for anyone. If it were easy…it wouldn’t be a PhD.
And great news about your Europe trip!!!
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Gregory Says:
April 21st, 2008 at 2:40 am“a Jason Bourne movie marathon that lasted for over six hours”
I borrowed a mini and almost, but not quite, did the same drive for a bet, it basically all went wrong, I love so movies,
I’ve doubt that it is the pits of uncoolness, at the end of the day, Star Trek, Dr. Who, hating the cubs for being so gay,
it’s the little pleasures that make it worth being here.
I love minis, the car, skirt as well I suppose.
G.
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daniela Says:
April 21st, 2008 at 2:36 pmit all sounds too familiar to me - though i’m not writing a novel but a dissertation. as a friend of mine has said, it’s been feeling a bit stale, the whole weather and dissertation business. but then look outside, it seems it’s warming up. oh god, procrastination. chocolate, tv series, internet, disheartened spring cleans, half-read novels, msn chats with friends about broken hearts, cheap wine. and i am thinking about going to see the sunset at the park. anyway, we need spring for yesterday, don’t we?
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amen to that, daniela. seems you know exactly what i’m talking about. ’stale’ is just the right word.
i went out to see the sunset today, but missed it. too hazy, i think.
