30 May, 2009 | 4 Comments

I was at the hospital yesterday for more blood tests.  There’s a room where they take the blood. You wait outside and take a number and then eventually you enter the room, which is like a big torture chamber filled with reclining leather chairs.  You get to watch everyone else get their blood taken while your own arm is being poked and prodded.  I can’t tell you how many people came and went while the lady was still trying to find a “yummy vein” (her words) in my arm.

Thankfully, my last round of blood tests came back normal.  No diabetes, no high cholesterol, no problem with the thyroid, etc. etc.  I was relieved I don’t have diabetes, since that runs in my family and I have horrible blood sugar crashes and I’m just generally a major sugar addict.  I’m also surprised about the cholesterol. Last time I had it checked (ages ago) it was high.  But since then, I gave up red meat and most dairy, which probably accounts for it being normal now.

I still don’t know what’s wrong with me, but at least I know what’s not wrong with me. That’s something.

27 May, 2009 | 9 Comments

I’m very unhappy that Ruth Padel has stepped down as Oxford’s Professor of Poetry.  I didn’t intend to write about this issue, since I don’t really have the energy for it, but this is so unbelievably sexist.  The first female Professor of Poetry in Oxford history is pressured to resign just days after being elected to the post. Surprise, surprise.  Apparently she “smeared” Nobel Prize winner Derek Walcott (her rival for the post, who later withdrew from the running) by repeating claims that he sexually harassed female students in the past.  In the 1980s, Walcott was admonished by Harvard for pressuring a freshman to have sex with him and in the 1990s he settled a lawsuit by another student for sexual harassment as well.  I think this is highly relevant when considering Walcott’s suitability to become Professor of Poetry, yet these charges against him have been roundly described as “character assassination” and anyone who mentions them is vilified.

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21 May, 2009 | 8 Comments

Things I like:

-Red grapes.

-Grande Classic Hot Chocolate w/ soya milk from Starbucks.

-Finishing all the undergrad marking (50 manuscripts/25 hours of work).

-Kind people who send text messages to see how I am.

Things I don’t like:

-Being stuck with needles at the hospital.

-Being in so much pain [from one of many medical issues] that I almost scream it is so intense.

-Postponing my trip home.

-Impending homelessness.

20 May, 2009 | 9 Comments

This article on the BBC is a good example of how rape victims are often blamed for their own rapes and how the onus for preventing rape is on women and girls, rather than on the rapists.

In Liverpool, a 15-year-old girl was raped by a gang of teeange boys.  The title of the article is ridiculous: Girl ‘traumatised’ by gang rape, as if anyone on earth wouldn’t be ‘traumatised’ after being raped by four men over a three-hour period.  Is this really the point of the story?

The girl was raped “on a disused railway bridge” after “waving goodbye to her friends at 2015 BST on Friday.”  These are all clues to the reader that the girl was being careless, since she dared to walk alone over a deserted bridge just after 8 p.m.  I’m surprised they didn’t tell us what she was wearing.  But just in case the reader doesn’t pick up on the moral of the story, the detective chief inspector makes it clear in this quote from the last paragraph of the article: “I would remind women and teenagers to always take care when they go out at night and avoid walking through isolated or unlit areas and ensure you always walk home in pairs or a group and not go unaccompanied.”  Apparently, this advice doesn’t apply to men.

The message here is subliminal but clear. If this girl hadn’t been so careless, she wouldn’t have been raped.  Because ladies, it’s your responsibility to make sure you don’t get raped.  It’s natural for savage gangs of teenage boys to be on the look-out for their next victim – you need to make sure that you don’t cross their path.

Imagine if this were a story about a businessman walking home down a deserted street at 8 p.m. and he gets mugged and beaten by a gang of four teenage boys.  Imagine the detective chief inspector saying: “I would like to remind all men to always take care when they go out at night and walk in groups or pairs.”  It’s funny to think he would say such a thing, but it would make more sense – statistically, men are much more likely to be the victims of violent crime than women.  The difference is that men aren’t blamed when they’re victims of crime.

Instead of focusing on what women should or should not do, perhaps the chief inspector and the BBC should focus on the rapists.  The BBC could have shared some statistics about rape and how rape victims are failed by the criminal justice system.  Maybe the detective could have said something like this: “This is a message to all rapists and potential rapists out there: If you dare to rape anyone in my city, I will spend all my resources to hunt you down, prosecute you and put you in jail for as long as possible.  Anyone who rapes is the lowest of the low, the most vile scum imaginable and I will make sure you pay for your crimes.  I won’t rest until I find you.  There is nowhere for you to hide in this city.”  That’s where the focus should be.

16 May, 2009 | 3 Comments

Two updates to recent posts:

First, an alert reader sent me an update for my Kate Watch feature.  Apparently, Ms. Winslet is suing the Daily Mail over a vicious article they wrote about her in which they labeled her the most irritating actress in the world and implied that she’s bulimic.  While this article has been removed from the Daily Mail website, I quoted from it extensively in this Kate Watch entry.  You know, Kate Watch is only taken seriously by a handful of you, which distresses me.  This field of reporting is obviously a legal minefield, yet I soldier on nonetheless, even after the Daily Mail caves in.

As for my second update, I recently wrote about my Chinese student who wants to be called “Johnson.”  I assumed he was not aware that this means “penis” in American slang and you may remember that I hated saying his “name” in class.  Well, the other day my director called me into his office and showed me an email from this student.  Based on his email address, it’s clear he knows damn well what “Johnson” means.  He was playing me!  He thought he was so clever, since no British person ever picked up on the obscene little joke he was playing.  Every time I call him “Johnson” in class, he’s probably just cracking up inside.

14 May, 2009 | 1 Comment

I went to University College Hospital today to arrange some medical tests.  I walked in the door and there was a large sign with a list of departments, but the only one I saw was MORTUARY.  It jumped right out at me and I swear that’s all I could see.

But then, I’ve always been a “glass half empty” kind of girl.

13 May, 2009 | 2 Comments

I’m really buried under an avalanche right now.  Last term, my university told me I wouldn’t need to do any end-of-term grading.  Because I wanted some sort of British income during these couple months, I took a part-time teaching job at the language school, which I’ve already admitted was a huge mistake.  Now, in the department of To Make Matters Worse, my university has decided they need my services after all, which really annoys me because I never would have taken the teaching job if I’d known they were going to give me work.  Not only have they given me work, they’ve given me twice as much as I would normally have.

So now I have four jobs, essentially.  I work at the hall of residence; I still work for the American company, which requires me to do work online each day (and though people sometimes email to ask what this job is, I don’t want to discuss it with people I don’t know); I have the teaching job at the language school; and now….nearly 50 manuscripts to grade, which is going to take up any shred of free time I’m supposed to have.  I’m doing all the second-year creative writing marking, which is a huge responsibility.

On top of this, I am supposed to be leaving for NYC one month from today and need to pack all my things, find a place to store them and find someone to move the items into storage.

What gets lost in all of this is the PhD I’m supposed to be working on full-time, including the novel I am not working on because I don’t have the mental energy to focus on it, nor the time to devote to it.

I’m not sure how I always get myself into situations like this.  Many other PhD students I know, who don’t work at all and just live off their parents or loans, laugh at me and joke about how I must be on amphetamines or something. They also say I must be crazy to do all this on top of a PhD.

I just have to survive the next month with my sanity intact.  After this, all the jobs will fall away except for the American one.  Then I’ll have June through September to focus on my PhD.  But June seems so far away right now!  You know how toddlers sometimes just roll around on the ground, scream and kick their feet?  Sometimes I wish I were a toddler so I could do that.  Because that sums up how I feel right now.

9 May, 2009 | 10 Comments

This blog post is really just for girls.  If you’re a guy and you want to read it, I won’t ban you.  But you’ve been warned!

So I wanted to write about the cervical smear I had this week (more commonly referred to as a pap smear in the States). Perhaps you think this is too much information, but this is a feminist blog and most adult women have cervical smears, so why not talk about them?!

So anyway, in the UK a nurse usually does the cervical smear.  In the States, I had them done by a gynecologist and once by an internal medicine doctor.  What does one need to do to see a gyno in this country?  Just curious.  I heard of someone going through an entire pregnancy without ever once seeing an ob-gyn.

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5 May, 2009 | Comments

I spent way too much time on the NHS swine flu hotline last night.  Can’t say more because of the confidentiality of my job, but in six weeks I will be out of this place and not a moment too soon.  I’m a writer for crying out loud, and I’m not interested in taking temperatures and ministering to the sick [without a flu shot, mask or gloves, thanks.] Anyway, according to the National Health Service hotline, the swine flu situation is a lot of media hype and unless you’ve been in Mexico, they really don’t care if you have flu-like symptoms.

4 May, 2009 | 4 Comments

Tonight in the Times I read a story about the murder in Pakistan of a well-known singer, Ayman Udas.  She was murdered by her brothers, apparently for bringing disgrace upon her family by divorcing, remarrying and singing on television.  [Here is a clip of her singing on YouTube.]  This murder happened in Peshawar, an area that is increasingly being taken over by the Taliban.  According to Radio Free Europe, “In January, a dancer’s bullet-ridden body was left in the center of Swat Valley’s capital of Mingora — not far from where Udas grew up — with a note warning locals that “un-Islamic voices” will no longer be tolerated.”  The article also states that other female performers are being threatened.

While this story is yet further proof of the troubling situation in Pakistan, it also puts so-called “honor killings” back in the news, since Ayman Udas was murdered by her brothers for disgracing the family’s honor.  I’ve written many times before about honor killings, yet no matter how many of these stories I read, I still cannot understand the psychology behind this practice.  While it’s obvious that human beings are capable of the most horrific acts, it seems to go against human nature to murder your own family members.  Sure, anywhere in the world you’ll find parents killing their children, children killing their parents, siblings killing each other, etc.  But these crimes are aberrations, not part of a persistent cultural practice like “honor killings,” where teenage girls and adult women are murdered by male family members.  I just cannot fathom the hatred and dehumanization of women that has to exist in order for two brothers to shoot their sister in the chest three times – which is what happened to Ayman Udas.  And she’s not alone.

In doing some research for this post, I came across a story about 16-year-old Naile Erdas, who was raped and became pregnant.  After she gave birth, she returned home from the hospital and was shot dead by her brother.  In January, a Turkish court sentenced her entire family to life imprisonment for participating in this act, which is one of the harshest punishments ever for an “honor killing.”  The average sentence for an “honor killing” is normally six months, so I hope this case sets a precedent.